Dear TBS,

If I have to see another 10 second clip of House of Payne, or if Bill Engvall interrupts and 'pauses' my Family Guy episode one more fucking time, I will lose it. My 'losing it' doesn't consist of the mild act of composing hate mail or the extreme action of fire bombing TBS headquarters (though it's totally called for), no. My 'losing it' consists of blogging about how retarded both shows are.

House of Payne: Oh, I get it, it's a family where the dad wants to kids not to live there... seems unoriginal. What? They're black and Christian?!?! OH FUCK YEAH!!! OH NO YOU DI'INT, LORD HAVE MERCY TYLER PERRY!!!! Number 1 rated show of all time? Not surprising, because...well it's....umm... I don't know. Maybe there's deep messages inside of the show and it's not just the same shit about a kid trying to get his parents to buy him an expensive new car. Then again, who knows. No one watches the "#1 rated cable sitcom of all time".

Bill Engvall: Same thing. Replace black and Christian to white red-state and less Christian. Saying prayer over fast food? RIDICULOUS!!!!!! (Even though my family does it). Oh his daughter wants a piercing but he doesn't want her to get a piercing... where did I see this.. hmm.. oh right. It was on Cybill. Yeah, Cybill. It was a show 15 years ago on CBS about a single mom and her two kids and that was one of the episodes. Clearly different because Bill is A: male, B: married, and C: it's 2008. Yeah no, that's totally the way to go CBS. Let's make more sitcoms like every sitcom to fail in the last 20 years. Full House did it, right?

But seriously, TBS, just stick to showing shows that you know already do well: Family Guy, The Office, Sex and the City, and stay away from trying to create a sitcom on cable. If people have cable they have 70+ channels of shit to watch, so they can change the channel to something else once they hear, "I'd like to put your mother (or mama) in that dog house *Canned Ooooooooooohhhh*". I didn't have cable until I was 18. That means I grew up with 18 years of watching 7 channels, and only 3-4 of them got good reception. That's why shows like "Yes, Dear" and "King of Queens" did well. PEOPLE HAD NOTHING ELSE THEY COULD WATCH. So TBS, stop polluting the already toxic waters of cable sitcoms and just try to pick up oldy goldies like Family Ties, Alf, or Step By motherfuckin' Step.


Thanks,


E P G


PS


Some one please firebomb Carlos Mencia's house. Even if his kids/wife/chihuahua (GET IT ITS A BEANER DOG! BEANER BEANER! LOL!) are in it. They're like the AIDS of comedy and all he touches is tainted and must be cleansed. By fire.