More like..

DIARRHEA of a Mad Black Woman!

HOHO!

Oh Cable..

TBS now has 'commercials' that aren't commercials. They're bits of faux stand-up from B or C list comedians that integrate, usually, a fast food chain. When I first saw one of these commercials I thought, "Man that's weird she mentioned a name brand in her stand-up. Guess the sponsors would like that." Oh, they do. In fact there's about 6 clips advertising for Quiznos, Sonic, Coors Light, and other grub of the lower class. It's not funny and it just means those comedians will never be funny ever again and I don't even think they'll be invited to host the roast of Brooke Hogan in 30 years after her vagina has served more people than McDonald's, which thankfully doesn't have a TBS advertisement..yet.

Farty Fart Fart

I saw a 20ish year old girl with a big Pro Choice sign in her rear view window. Not too weird, except for the fact that also in her car was an empty babyseat. Maybe she's just poetic.

Also: House of Payne is stereotypically bad.

I see what's going on...

Admiral Ackbar



Senator Barack




Bar-ack ----> Ack-Bar! SWEET JESUS GEORGE 'THE PROPHET' LUCAS TRIED TO WARN US!

Trick or Treat?

Reeses Puffs good; Dog food bad. Don't make this all-too-common mistake.

Commercials that shouldn't be.

Vince looks like he will cut you the fuck up and that he should really be saying stuff like, "Look at this fuckin' thing. Man it fuckin' dries shit good, right? Am I fuckin' right? Yeah, I am. Fuckin'.. fuckin' amazing, man. Twenty bucks for like a billion of these shits and they're fuckin' great."






Cabbage Patch dolls meet robotic demonspawn. They're just fucking eerie. And why the fuck are like 3 year olds water skiing and jumping off high dives? Water diaper or not, that's bad parenting.








Okay, first of all, I like my feet scaley. It helps them retain water like reptiles. Secondly, watching that lady dump a pedegg with like 2 ounces of foot-dust in the garbage can is one of the grossest things possible. It seriously looks like she's dumping a Pedegg of curry into the garbage and I'd just be afraid I'd accidentally mix it up with one of my many spices contained in my sharper image digital label spice rack.



And...





Okay, actually, that's an awesome commercial. It has three things I like best: Mr. T, Abrahm's tanks, and Snickers. Fuck soccer and British people. I've never actually seen that commercial on TV, I'm betting it's because the FCC has problems with too much graphic awesomness. And because I heard Mr. T rapes and eats babies for power.

Equality

I think instead of everyone having MLK day off, white people should have to work on it, in fields. Then, by my calculations, after about 95000 years, black people, if they exist, and white people, if they exist, would be totally equal. That way we can say 'no, but we're equal now' the next time a country club turns down a black family.